Ep 196. From Mom Guilt to Emotional Confidence with Alicia Michelle

Hey mama, can I ask you something?

When was the last time you felt completely at peace with how you’re balancing your business and motherhood?

If you’re struggling to remember, you’re not alone.

Recently, I found myself sitting at my desk, tears streaming down my face, because I’d missed my daughter’s first goal at soccer.

I was on a client call that “couldn’t wait.” But you know what? That moment became a wake-up call that transformed how I handle mom guilt.

Today, we’re diving deep into the topic of mom guilt with Alicia Michelle, a mindset coach for Christian women who’s revolutionizing how we handle these complex emotions using both neuroscience and biblical truth.

The Truth About Mom Guilt for Business Owners

Let’s be real: mom guilt hits different when you’re running a business. It’s not just about being away from your kids – it’s about choosing to be away from them to build something of your own.

For years, I struggled with this internally. I’d spend my work time feeling guilty about not being with my kids, then spend my kid time thinking about all the business tasks I needed to complete. It was a never-ending cycle that left me exhausted and feeling like I was failing at everything.

Common Guilt Triggers for Mompreneurs

Time Allocation Struggles:

Work Time Guilt – That nagging feeling during client calls that you should be with your kids instead
Family Time Guilt – Checking business emails during family dinner because “it might be urgent”
Bedtime Blues – Missing bedtime stories because your coaching call ran late
Device Distraction – Constantly checking your phone for business updates while playing with your kids

Faith Community Expectations:

Cultural Pressure – Feeling judged for choosing to work when you “don’t have to”
Ministry vs. Business – Wondering if building a business is less spiritual than full-time ministry
Church Family Questions – Fielding well-meaning but difficult questions about working from home
Purpose Confusion – Struggling to see how business fits into God’s plan for your family

Self-Care Battles:

Productivity Pressure – Feeling guilty for taking a break when your to-do list isn’t complete
Rest Resistance – Pushing through exhaustion because “good moms don’t need breaks”
Comparison Trap – Seeing other mom business owners “doing it all” on social media
Identity Crisis – Wondering if wanting more than motherhood makes you selfish

Understanding Good Guilt vs. Bad Guilt

Productive Guilt (Conviction):

Gentle Nudges – Points out specific actions you can improve, like creating better work boundaries
Solution-Focused – Comes with practical ideas for positive change
Truth-Aligned – Matches what you know to be true from Scripture
Growth-Oriented – Motivates you to become a better mom and business owner
Identity-Secure – Reminds you of who you are in Christ while suggesting improvements

Destructive Guilt (Condemnation):

Harsh Attacks – Makes sweeping statements like “you’re always choosing work over family”
Problem-Focused – Dwells on what’s wrong without offering solutions
Truth-Twisting – Distorts Scripture to create shame
Shame-Inducing – Makes you question your worth as a mother
Identity-Crushing – Labels you as a “bad mom” or “selfish woman”

Reflection Exercise:

Take 15 minutes to journal about your most recent bout of mom guilt:

What triggered this specific moment of guilt?
Which category does it fall into – conviction or condemnation?
What truth does Scripture say about this situation?
What’s one small step you can take toward positive change?

Physical and Emotional Impact

Body Signals:

Tension Headaches – Usually starting at the base of your neck
Stomach Knots – Especially before making business decisions
Energy Drain – Feeling exhausted even after a full night’s sleep
Focus Issues – Unable to concentrate on either work or family

Emotional Signs:

Decision Paralysis – Struggling to make simple choices about work or family
Mood Changes – Snapping at your kids or spouse over small things
Joy Theft – Unable to fully enjoy either business wins or family moments
Connection Loss – Feeling disconnected from both your business purpose and your children

Biblical Truth for the Guilt-Ridden Mompreneur

Let me share some powerful truths that transformed my perspective:

Training vs. Presence (Proverbs 22:6)

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Notice it doesn’t say “be with your child 24/7”
Focus on quality of training, not quantity of time
Your business can be part of their training ground

Love in Action (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Patient love includes giving ourselves grace
Kind love extends to ourselves too
Love keeps no record of wrongs (including our own perceived failures)

Purpose and Calling (Jeremiah 29:11)

God’s plans often include multiple callings
Your business might be part of His plan for your family
Trust His timing and guidance

The ADD Method: Your Practical Framework

A – Acknowledge:

Name It – “I’m feeling guilty about working during Saturday morning cartoons”
Feel It – Notice where the guilt sits in your body
Accept It – “This feeling is normal for a mom building a business”
Share It – Write it down or tell someone you trust

D – Discern:

Truth Check – Compare your thoughts to what God says about you
Source Trace – Identify if this is conviction or condemnation
Heart Scan – Ask if this guilt is pushing you toward growth or shame
Reality Test – Would you say this to another mom in your situation?

D – Decide:

Choose Direction – Pick one small step toward positive change
Set Boundaries – Decide on one new boundary to implement
Plan Action – Schedule when and how you’ll make the change
Create Support – Tell someone who will help you follow through

Practical Implementation Steps

Morning Routine:

Prayer Time – 5 minutes to surrender your day to God
Intention Setting – Choose your main focus for the day
Schedule Review – Look at today’s mom and business commitments
Boundary Check – Confirm your work hours and stick to them

Work Blocks:

Communication – Let your family know when you’re in focused work time
Environment – Create a visual signal that shows when you’re working
Transitions – Build in 10-minute buffers between work and family time
Presence – Give full attention to either work or family in each block

Family Connection:

Quality Moments – Create special rituals for work-to-family transitions
Check-Ins – Regular temperature checks with each family member
Special Time – One-on-one time with each child weekly
Family Meetings – Weekly talks about what’s working and what isn’t

Your 30-Day Action Plan

Week 1: Foundation

Identify your main guilt triggers
Start using the ADD method daily
Set up one solid work boundary

Week 2: Implementation

Create your ideal schedule
Start morning prayer routine
Implement transition buffers

Week 3: Connection

Schedule one-on-one time with each child
Plan family feedback session
Review and adjust boundaries

Week 4: Integration

Evaluate what’s working
Adjust and refine systems
Celebrate progress and wins

Remember This Truth, Mama
You were called to both motherhood AND business. They’re not competing callings – they’re complementary ones. Your business isn’t taking away from your motherhood; it’s adding to your family’s legacy.

Consider this: by building your business, you’re:

Modeling entrepreneurship for your children
Creating generational wealth
Living out your God-given purpose
Showing your kids what it means to follow your dreams
Building a flexible lifestyle for your family
Teaching valuable life skills through example

A Personal Note of Encouragement

Remember the soccer game I missed? That moment led to a beautiful conversation with my daughter about dreams, goals, and supporting each other. Now she helps me plan my schedule and celebrates my wins as much as I celebrate hers.

Your journey might look different from others, and that’s okay. You’re writing your own story of faith, motherhood, and entrepreneurship.

I’d love to hear from you! Which of these strategies resonates most? How do you handle mom guilt?

Share a screenshot of your favorite tip from this post on Instagram and tag me @thepurposegathering – let’s inspire other mamas to break free from guilt and embrace their dual calling!

Until next time, keep shining that beautiful light of yours. You’re doing amazing things, even when you don’t realize it.

And remember, mama, God didn’t give you these dreams by accident. You can be both a great mother AND a successful business owner.

Quotes to Note:

“Emotional confidence is not that you have arrived and know all the answers. It’s that you have the confidence to partner with God and with how your body works to find the answers you need.” – Alicia Michelle

“Good guilt can be thought of as conviction. Conviction from God is very healthy and tells us we’re not on the right path. Condemnation is that bad guilt – it’s from the enemy and designed to break us down.” – Alicia Michelle

“Sometimes we believe something, but we find ourselves acting differently. That’s where combining neuroscience and the Bible can help women find freedom.” – Alicia Michelle

“If this is my number one priority to love my kids this way and to lead them towards Christ, then I have to make sure that what I’m doing in these other areas is not leaving me so exhausted that I can’t love them in these ways.” – Alicia Michelle

“We’re not charged with being with our children 24/7. We’re charged with directing them to the right path and making our faith part of everyday life.” – Alicia Michelle

Connect with Alicia Michelle | Website | Instagram | Facebook
Free Resources: Visit AliciaMichelle.com to access free resources for managing emotions and building confidence in your faith journey.
Learn more about the book: AliciaMichelle.com/Emotional-Confidence

Alicia Michelle, ACC, CPLC is an ICF-certified Christian life coach and NeuroCoach, author of Emotional Confidence, popular conference speaker, and multi-award-winning podcast host of the top-ranked podcast The Christian Mindset Coach with Alicia Michelle. Through her coaching and courses Alicia has equipped thousands of women with practical brain-and-biblically-based tools to manage emotions and rewire toxic thought patterns for more calm, confidence and joy. She loves to travel, cook, draw, paint and savor life with her beloved husband, four kids and four dogs.

Thank you for spending part of your day with me.

And as always, mama, I am here rooting for you and you are not alone on this journey of balancing motherhood and business.

Complimentary Episodes:

Resources:

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